October 24, 2014

Anger


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The Option Institute has helped thousands of people overcome issues revolving around anger. If you’re struggling with anger-based challenges, please read below to see how we can help you live a life that is anger-free.

 

How Anger Affects Our Lives

If you are looking for anger management solutions, you’re not alone. An increasing number of us find that our anger is having a larger and larger impact on our lives. This is no surprise, given that anger is a chief currency in our society. In fact, the average child of 15 has seen 15,000 people violently killed on television (Delega and Janda, 1981).

We have been taught to see anger as bold and powerful, if not always prudent. Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Psychological Self-Help, notes that, “in many way, the message is, aggression gets results.

Even though it may seem as though our anger is sometimes “out of control,” we have seen the opposite. Each episode of anger is precipitated by an anger-generating belief, particularly the “anger = power” belief.

As widespread as this belief is, in actuality, anger is not a display of power, it is a request for power by someone who feels powerless.

It’s not just our emotional experience that is compromised by our anger. There is an increasing volume of medical research pinpointing all of the ways that anger is detrimental to our physical well-being. For instance, recent research published by psychologists Edward C. Suarez, Ph.D., James G. Lewis, Ph.D., and Cynthia Kuhn, Ph.D., in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (Vol. 16, No. 6) found that men who have a high degree of hostility and anger are more likely to have higher levels of an immune system protein that’s linked to several risk factor for cardiovascular problems. Add to that the statistic cited by www.DivorcePeers.com that 20% of the general population has levels of ongoing hostility high enough to be dangerous to their own health, and it becomes apparent why more and more individuals are seeking anger management solutions

Although people can choose from a number of methods and sources which offer help with anger management, we offer something unique.

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How The Option Institute Can Help

We can help you to uncover the beliefs you hold that fuel your anger, and we can give you practical tools that can enable you to change these beliefs if you choose. Changing these beliefs is they key to dissipating the anger they produce.

What’s more, we can do this by enabling you to build up a bulwark of beliefs and perspectives that promote your own experience of inner strength and security. Then, you can pursue what you want from a powerful, comfortable, easy place instead of a tight, insecure and angry place.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

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Programs for Anger Management

Inner Strength

At The Option Institute, we offer a variety of programs, each designed to help with different types of challenges, as well as various approaches to increasing happiness and comfort. However, if you feel that you’re facing challenges you can’t handle or you want to examine and re-construct every aspect of yourself, come to the Inner Strengthprogram

Empower Yourself

You may be at a crossroads in your life and in need of some real mental firepower to proactively navigate it. You might be stalled in your pursuit of an important goal (finding your life partner, changing your career, etc.). Or maybe you’ve noticed that you have difficulty stand-ing strong for what you want when faced with opposition.

In Empower Yourself, you will acquire concrete tools for pursuing what you want, especially when formidable obstacles stand in your way. Even more importantly, you will have ample opportunity throughout the week to practice utilizing these tools. Dynamic, challenging, and fun, Empower Yourself is like filling up on rocket fuel for your life. You will leave inspired, powerful and ready to take action and surmount the challenges before you.

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Mastering Anger: Personal Stories

By the time I’d reached my mid-30’s I’d achieved what most people would agree was a successful life, a home in an affluent suburb, 2 cars, a swimming pool, a middle management position with a Fortune 100 electronics company and a career on the rise. Then one day my wife of fifteen years told me she wanted a divorce and, when we sought help in family counseling, I learned that my pride and joy, my two sons, felt distant and afraid of me.

I had always taken my frequent angry outbursts for granted. After all, my father, my uncles, my brothers all behaved that way. Naturally I would be an angry person too. But now I recognized that my anger was separating me from everything I loved. It was too late to save my marriage. But maybe I could still salvage the relation ships with my sons. I decided to control the expression of my anger, no matter what it cost me inside.

And it cost a lot. Over the next few years I became increasingly tired and ineffective. My productivity fell. I slept a lot and felt more and more unable to face people, my job, the demands of my life. Finally I was diagnosed with Major Depression. I spent 6 weeks in a prominent psychiatric hospital. The doctors concluded I suffered from a chemical imbalance and prescribed Prozac, an antidepressant, along with other drugs. I returned to work but gradually, once again, slipped into the heavy, tiring existence of depression. My career was on hold, I was incapable of sustaining a relationship, and my sons only said they loved me on Christmas or on my birthday.

Then a friend introduced me to the books of Barry Neil Kaufman and the idea that happiness is a choice. Intrigued, I traveled to The Option Institute for private sessions. During this time I had the opportunity to examine my own vision of life as well as the beliefs and attitudes underlying my anger and depression. I realized that I believed I had no other choice besides getting angry or depressed when things didn’t go well for me. But through the gentle and non-judgmental dialogue sessions, I realized that I did have other choices – that I could treat the events of my life as misfortunes or as opportunities. I chose to do the latter. That decision has transformed my entire life. I stopped feeling bad about myself. I began to have fun. My energy increased. My productivity improved. I started to enjoy my work.

Today I’m no longer on medication. I’m happy, confident, optimistic for the future. My career has taken an exciting new turn. And my relationship with my sons has never been better.

Recently my oldest son failed to return some expensive stereo equipment he’d borrowed. When we finally spoke, he became tense and defensive, already anticipating my customary angry explosion. But! did not feel anger. Instead I discussed the incident in a firm, yet loving manner. At the end of the conversation, my son said ‘I love you Dad.’ It wasn’t Christmas. It wasn’t my birthday. Through the miracle of learning to choose happiness and love instead of anger, I had regained the most valuable relationship in my life.

Richard Magan, Computer Sales Manager, Massachusetts

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