How Does Self- Esteem Affect Our Lives

This is certainly no surprise, given what most of us are taught about ourselves. Over and over again, throughout our lives, we are schooled to distrust ourselves and to criticize ourselves as a way to take care of ourselves. We are taught to find things "wrong" with ourselves and to measure ourselves based upon external standards.

So, we tell ourselves that we're too fat, too thin, not smart enough, or not kind enough. We're not good enough parents, not competent enough workers, not giving enough lovers, or not valuable enough friends. We're boring, stupid, ugly and selfish.

It sounds extreme when we put it all together; but, in reality, this is what many of us are telling ourselves every day. No wonder many of us have low self-esteem.

And it doesn't stop with us feeling down on ourselves. Our level of self-esteem has far-reaching effects on our lives.

According to research by Jennifer Crocker, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research (American Psychology Assoc., Vol. 33, No. 11, 12/2002), college students who based their self-worth on external sources-including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance-reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders.

After noting a huge correlation between self-esteem and employment outcomes, a recent longitudinal study of all the children born in the UK in 1970 ("In Defense of Self-Esteem", National Association for Self-Esteem) concluded that self-esteem may have a far greater impact on future success than intelligence or talent.

Even more startling, a study published in 1990 (Sagan) found that, overall, the healthiest people are those with self-esteem and a sense of personal control. Those who feel good about themselves, the report found, are actually more resistant to illnesses such as cancer. In fact, the study placed self-esteem above such factors as drugs, new medical procedures, and the high-tech equipment of modern medicine in terms of impact on health.

But there is good news.

 

How The Option Institute Can Help

Helping people build self-esteem is one of our core competencies at The Option Institute. It is, quite literally, a centerpiece of everything we teach.

We have helped thousands of people build their self-esteem. Not with platitudes. Not with affirmations.

We have no interest in getting you to act like you have high self-esteem while you're still nursing a gnawing self-doubt. Rather, we seek to enable you to change your beliefs - the messages that you are sending yourself. After all, our level of self-esteem and self-confidence is based upon our beliefs about ourselves.

The entire list at the beginning of this essay ("I'm too fat," "I'm not competent enough," "I'm stupid," etc.) is, in actuality, a litany of beliefs.

If these beliefs sound familiar to you, we have 2 important ideas to propose to you. First, we hold these beliefs for a reason. We think that we must tell ourselves these things in order to take care of ourselves in some fashion. That is why, in our programs, we give you tools to help you uncover what your reasons are.

The second key idea to consider is that our beliefs are changeable. Even if we have been sending ourselves the same messages for decades-and even if others have been telling us these things about ourselve-it is never too late to radically shift these beliefs.

We have worked with countless individuals who, after finding fault with themselves for a lifetime, learned to find the beauty within themselves instead. And, truly, there is no bigger step to a better life than this.