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Anger Management
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The Option Institute has helped thousands of people overcome issues revolving around anger. If you're struggling with anger-based challenges, please read below to see how we can help you live a life that is anger-free.
How Anger Affects Our Lives
Anger - a global challenge
How The Option Institute Can Help
How our beliefs and perceptions can affect us
What Anger Management Programs Are Available?
Recommended programs for learning anger management skills
Personal Stories
Experiences of several program participants
How Anger Affects Our Lives
If you are looking for anger management solutions, you're not alone. An increasing number of us find that our anger is having a larger and larger impact on our lives. This is no surprise, given that anger is a chief currency in our society. In fact, the average child of 15 has seen 15,000 people violently killed on television (Delega and Janda, 1981).
We have been taught to see anger as bold and powerful, if not always prudent. Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Psychological Self-Help, notes that, "in many way, the message is, aggression gets results.
Even though it may seem as though our anger is sometimes "out of control," we have seen the opposite. Each episode of anger is precipitated by an anger-generating belief, particularly the "anger = power" belief.
As widespread as this belief is, in actuality, anger is not a display of power, it is a request for power by someone who feels powerless.
It's not just our emotional experience that is compromised by our anger. There is an increasing volume of medical research pinpointing all of the ways that anger is detrimental to our physical well-being. For instance, recent research published by psychologists Edward C. Suarez, Ph.D., James G. Lewis, Ph.D., and Cynthia Kuhn, Ph.D., in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (Vol. 16, No. 6) found that men who have a high degree of hostility and anger are more likely to have higher levels of an immune system protein that's linked to several risk factor for cardiovascular problems. Add to that the statistic cited by www.DivorcePeers.com that 20% of the general population has levels of ongoing hostility high enough to be dangerous to their own health, and it becomes apparent why more and more individuals are seeking anger management solutions
Although people can choose from a number of methods and sources which offer help with anger management, we offer something unique.
How The Option Institute Can Help
We can help you to uncover the beliefs you hold that fuel your anger, and we can give you practical tools that can enable you to change these beliefs if you choose. Changing these beliefs is they key to dissipating the anger they produce.
What's more, we can do this by enabling you to build up a bulwark of beliefs and perspectives that promote your own experience of inner strength and security. Then, you can pursue what you want from a powerful, comfortable, easy place instead of a tight, insecure and angry place.
And that makes all the difference in the world.
Programs for Anger Management
Inner Strength
A key to success in managing anger is to always come from a place of confidence and strength, not matter what the circumstance. Inner Strength is a fitness program for your mind and soul. You'll develop an internal sense of peace, confidence and strength that will enable you to gain complete control of issues that lead to anger. Be the one in charge of your emotions and behaviors—no matter what is happening around you. Gain a sense of ease in comfort in any situtation. Never be a victim again.
Empower Yourself
Many of us use anger to compensate for the lack of a sense of personal power. In essence, we use anger to feel powerful. In Empower Yourself, you'll learn tools and techniques to develop a sense of personal power that is not based on anger. No idle theorizing about empowerment—instead, in a feisty, fun format, we’ll challenge and encourage you to bring your own power alive through decisive action, with plenty of opportunities for practice.
Mastering Anger: Personal Stories
By the time I’d reached my mid-30’s I’d achieved what most people would agree was a successful life, a home in an affluent suburb, 2 cars, a swimming pool, a middle management position with a Fortune 100 electronics company and a career on the rise. Then one day my wife of fifteen years told me she wanted a divorce and, when we sought help in family counseling, I learned that my pride and joy, my two sons, felt distant and afraid of me.
I had always taken my frequent angry outbursts for granted. After all, my father, my uncles, my brothers all behaved that way. Naturally I would be an angry person too. But now I recognized that my anger was separating me from everything I loved. It was too late to save my marriage. But maybe I could still salvage the relation ships with my sons. I decided to control the expression of my anger, no matter what it cost me inside.
And it cost a lot. Over the next few years I became increasingly tired and ineffective. My productivity fell. I slept a lot and felt more and more unable to face people, my job, the demands of my life. Finally I was diagnosed with Major Depression. I spent 6 weeks in a prominent psychiatric hospital. The doctors concluded I suffered from a chemical imbalance and prescribed Prozac, an antidepressant, along with other drugs. I returned to work but gradually, once again, slipped into the heavy, tiring existence of depression. My career was on hold, I was incapable of sustaining a relationship, and my sons only said they loved me on Christmas or on my birthday.
Then a friend introduced me to the books of Barry Neil Kaufman and the idea that happiness is a choice. Intrigued, I traveled to The Option Institute for private sessions. During this time I had the opportunity to examine my own vision of life as well as the beliefs and attitudes underlying my anger and depression. I realized that I believed I had no other choice besides getting angry or depressed when things didn’t go well for me. But through the gentle and non-judgmental dialogue sessions, I realized that I did have other choices - that I could treat the events of my life as misfortunes or as opportunities. I chose to do the latter. That decision has transformed my entire life. I stopped feeling bad about myself. I began to have fun. My energy increased. My productivity improved. I started to enjoy my work.
Today I’m no longer on medication. I’m happy, confident, optimistic for the
future. My career has taken an exciting new turn. And my relationship with my sons has never been better.
Recently my oldest son failed to return some expensive stereo equipment he’d borrowed. When we finally spoke, he became tense and defensive, already anticipating my customary angry explosion. But! did not feel anger. Instead I discussed the incident in a firm, yet loving manner. At the end of the conversation, my son said 'I love you Dad.' It wasn’t Christmas. It wasn’t my birthday. Through the miracle of learning to choose happiness and love instead of anger, I had regained the most valuable relationship in my life.
Richard Magan, Computer Sales Manager, Massachusetts
After 20 years of hard work, I had a beautiful wife, 3 wonderful kids, and great success in business. I was living the ‘American Dream’ and I was miserable.
Although excellence and accomplishment bought me acceptance in business, it did nothing for me personally. With each new achievement, I simply raised the bar higher. Instead of growing in happiness, I grew in intolerance, never accepting anything less than perfection. Everything came to a head when my mom had a stroke and the doctors said she only had a few weeks to live.
A colleague gave me a copy of Happiness Is A Choice and the Option 12 Lecture CD Series I devoured the book as though it had been written just for me. I listened to the tapes over and over, sometimes sitting in my car for hours reveling in the insights and peace I would find from trading in old beliefs that were no longer useful to me. Although I knew nothing of The Option Institute at the time, I found this process remarkably effective.
At my company, we conducted an executive offsite meeting facilitated by one of The Option Institute’s teachers. In no time at all, we delved deeply into issues that had kept us from functioning well as a team. Several of the executives shared openly how they were angry with me and fed up with my intolerance of them. I'd never seen anything that cut so quickly to the core and established an environment where they could be addressed positively and creatively.
I then attended Radical Authenticity and realized I was lying all the time to protect myself or others. I finally found peace by simply being my true authentic self, without playing roles. Our executive team now practices authenticity as a core operating principle. Conflicts are no longer issues to be avoided, but opportunities to learn so they never fester and grow.
The Option Institute has helped me in all aspects of my life by allowing me to be a congruent person in all situations. Challenges are always coming, but I take them effortlessly without anxiety. By freeing myself from the need to accomplish, I’ve accomplished more with even greater passion and competence. I’m taking The Grand Summer Sequence this summer.
I’m done living the American Dream; I’m now living my own dream!
Mark Tuomenoksa, Business Owner, Massachusetts
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