Reprinted from Autistic Services, Inc. Newsletter

By Dennis Vitrano

My story begins about a year and a half ago when I attended the International Conference on Autism in Toronto. While I was there, I met some people who enlightened me with a different perspective of life. Marie and John were from a program in Massachusetts called the Option Institute and they invited me to see a movie called Son-Rise. I had previously read the book and understood it dealt with a family who worked with their special son based on a philosophy of love and acceptance. When all the professionals cautioned against hope and labeled their young son as hopeless, tragic, unreachably autistic, the parents created a different vision and through their special in-home program the little boy made progress beyond anyone's imagination. After I watched the movie, I was inspired to look beyond labels and limiting expectations and see that perhaps anything is possible if you believe in it. So I had this feeling that I could do something very special with these ideas for the people I worked with. What I didn't realize is that this new knowledge would ultimately change my entire life in a way I could have never imagined.

The author of the book Son-Rise was a man named Barry Neil Kaufman. He also wrote several other books and, prior to leaving the conference, I purchased one called Happiness Is A Choice. When I returned to Buffalo, I read the book and then purchased all his other ones. Within two months I had read them all and was beginning to learn something very special. The concepts focused on ways to create new visions and they helped me to see that I have control over every aspect of my life, that the past holds no power over me and that ultimately I can create happiness, peace and a love I never even knew existed.

Shortly after I had read the books and begun applying the concepts in my life, something strange occurred. I was traveling down I-290 on a beautiful, sunny day when suddenly I began to cry. I pulled over to the side of the road as the tears flooded from my eyes. They were not tears of pain or anger but tears of happiness and love and I felt like in that instant all the confusion, fear, pain and unhappiness in my life were being washed away, it was an experience beyond description. At that moment I realized, for the first time in my life, I could be happy and that I could create a world for myself and those I cared about based on love. I knew I wanted to live the rest of my life sharing my joy of life with others, which reflected the Option concepts. It was a great feeling!

I know that I cannot begin to explain the entire process to you or the transformation which occurred in my life, but I can only characterize it as a miraculous healing which I created by applying the concepts of Option, taught to me through reading Kaufman's books. I know now that I have received a wondrous gift which will live in me as I apply it to everything I do, and a gift I will want to share with everyone in my life.

The gift is unconditional love. The gift is acceptance of myself and each person I come in contact with. The gift is the release from judging things and people as "good" or "bad," "appropriate" or "inappropriate." The gift is seeing each event in my life as an opportunity to learn and grow. The gift is my ability to create a vision of the world which empowers me and motivates me to move toward the things I truly want. The gift is being happy now, without expecting things or people to make me happy later. Most importantly, the gift is knowing that I can make the world a better place just by being me.

The concepts of Option are very simple. I have applied them in both my personal and professional lives and I now see the world in a different way. Kaufman once wrote, "The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment." Thanks to Option, I only see flowers in the world. People go to The Option Institute for many reasons: to help their special children and help themselves, to deal with crisis in their lives, to work on relationship issues and even just to become happier. I have gone there on two separate occasions and feel like both visits were wondrous gifts to myself. Could there be a greater gift one could receive than peace and happiness?