About Us » What We Teach
What We Teach
Programs at The Option Institute are based on a well defined and time-proven philosophy called the Option Process®. On this page you can read more about our core philosophy, our foundational principles, and the benefits of The Option Process.
Our Core Philosophy
Take everything you thought you knew about human behavior - and give it one giant twist. That's the thinking behind what we teach at The Option Institute.
We live in a 'victim culture'. We're taught that our environment determines who we are. I act the way I do because of my childhood, my boss, my spouse, the weather. So we try to change our environment, including the people around us. Sometimes we get downright controlling. Or we just feel like passive victims: if only this or that would happen, everything would be just fine.
The problem is that changing the things around us doesn't work. Why? Because the 'if onlys' are always beyond our reach. There's always something else that comes down the road: the loss of a job, conflict with children, catastrophic illness, not to mention the day to day difficulties of life.
Now, here's the twist. We don't have to change the things around us in order to change how we feel, act or think. Consider the classic stimulus-response model under which most of us operate.
In this paradigm, my response is caused by the stimulus presented to me. For example:
| Stimulus | My boss yells at me. | Response | I worry about my future employment. |
| Stimulus | My daughter gives me a hug. | Response | I feel warm and grateful. |
| Stimulus | A dog runs up to me barking. | Response | I freeze and am fearful. |
The stimulus response model is pretty well established and something most people subscribe to, but there's a bit of a problem with it. Not everyone responds the same way to the same stimulus. When confronted with a dog running up and barking, one person freezes, another runs away, and a third kneels down to pet and hug the dog. When a political condidate wins a campaign, one group of people celebrates and another mourns. When faced with a difficult challenges, one person relishes the opportunity and another bemoans the burden.
At The Option Institute we take the classic stimulus-response model and adds one element: beliefs. What we believe acts as a filter for every stimulus we encounter. Change your beliefs, and you change your responses (how you feel, what you do).
Consider two graduating seniors at the college commencement. Same event. Same stimulus. Same situation. Yet one is elated and the other is terrified. How can that be? It all comes back to beliefs. The one grad believes her life will improve dramatically after graduation: independence, her own place, an exciting job. The other believes the world is frightening, it's hard out there and success is just a pipe dream. Their beliefs make all the difference.
That's just one example. Apply it to all the stimuli in our lives, and you quickly see how our thinking - not events or people-truly shapes us.
Good news: you can learn to systematically change your thinking. In the group programs, family programs and individual counseling sessions we offer at The Option Institute, people learn to use the unique tools and curriculum we've developed over the past quarter century. As they do, they discover the beliefs that fuel uncomfortable and ineffective responses.
Creating new, supportive beliefs is the beginning of profound change. Suddenly, these people gain power. Resolve life's challenges. Find peace with events beyond their control. Build truly satisfying relationships. Achieve their dreams.
Our life's work is predicated on providing powerful resources for change - while accepting people unconditionally as they are. The results are amazing. Your life will be too.
Foundational Principles
Given this basic philosophical perspective, we have developed the following fundamental principals.
Happiness Is A choice
Though many of us speak as if our emotions happen to us, we believe that they are responses we choose in an effort to take care of ourselves. Misery, fear, anger, distress, and discomfort are optional, not inevitable. We can show you how to make emotional choices that enhance, rather than detract from, your life experience.
You have your own answers
We live in a society that worships the opinions of others. We look for our answers from experts, institutions, the media, and the people around us - everyone but ourselves. We believe that you possess all of your own answers to the personal issues that mark your life. We can teach you to access and rely upon your own internal insight.
Everything we feel, say, and do has a chosen belief which fuels it
Because our beliefs are ultimately chosen, we can help you to examine and then re-choose beliefs that support the emotions, actions, and life experience that you desire.
Being non-judgmental is powerful, not passive
Most of us see making judgments ("that's terrible," "he's mean") as critical to our moral compass and our ability to take decisive action. However, we see judgments as leading to discomfort, anger, clouded perceptions, and muddled decision-making. We help you learn to drop judgments, thus increasing your focus, power, and decisiveness, as well as your ability to be joyful and caring. In fact, this is a key element of our teaching style, so you can count on being helped, respected, and cared for without judgment or condemnation - no matter what.
Self-criticism and self-doubt may be "normal" (as in "usual") but they aren't "natural" (as in "a necessary part of the human condition")
You are not condemned to live the rest of your life thinking that you are not good enough, that something is wrong with you, that you are not whole, that you are not okay as you are. These are learned beliefs, and we can teach you different, more self-supportive ones. Why? Because we don't believe that anything is wrong with you, and we do believe that you are okay just the way you are.
We aren't the victims we're taught to be
At every turn, most of us are treated as though we are victims - of our genes, or our upbringing, or our subconscious, or outside events. We have specific self-empowering strategies to enable you to capitalize on your own ultimate capability to be your own life architect in every circumstance.
Authenticity, not people-pleasing, builds close relationships and safety
Throughout our lives, we are taught to say what people want to hear, to mask our true selves and to focus on who we should be rather than being who we sincerely are. Most of us see this as safe - and crucial to maintaining our relationships. At The Option Institute, we see personal authenticity and honesty as the key to feeling safe (because you don't have to live in fear of being "found out") and creating close, meaningful relationships (because each person can know and love the other for who they really are). We don't want you to have to hide who you are anymore.
Changing the way you see things changes everything
Most of us think that events in our lives are inherently good or bad, and we can only hope for more good than bad. We put you back in the driver's seat by giving you tools to change your point of view about life events. We have seen, over and over again, that learning to change your perspective on external occurrences changes your entire internal experience - which then changes how you deal with external occurrences. In other words: change one thing, and everything changes.
We do not teach "the truth"
We do not teach "the right way to live." What we do teach are practical tools, principles, strategies, and perspectives for being happier, more self-empowered, closer to those you love, and more effective at getting what you want in life. If you would like more of these benefits, we can help you.
The Option Process®
The Option Process Dialogue has profoundly impacted the lives of thousands of people. This process teaches individuals how to uncover and eliminate self-limiting beliefs and attitudes that have their fueled discomfort, distress, and seemingly self-sabotaging behaviors. In this way, those utilizing the dialogue process often drastically increase their feelings of well being and learn to create more joyous ways of experiencing life.
The Option Process Dialogue, used for over a quarter of a century, is a highly respectful and effective system of questions asked with a nonjudgmental and nondirective attitude. This process builds on the legacy of the Greek Philosopher Socrates, who used probing questions to challenge his students to discover their own answers. Today, our counselors work with participants to help them uncover and eliminate self-defeating beliefs and attitudes that fuel their discomfort, distress and self-limiting behaviors.
The dialogue puts you, the explorer, in the directorial position to guide your own journey and determine your own destination. In effect, it allows us to change the way we think and, thereby, change the way we feel and act. This inevitably results in increased self-trust, self-empowerment, happiness and clarity as well as a creating a renewed sense of purpose (living our lives on our own terms), passion, and optimism. This truly is the ultimate tool for personal change.
In addition to having your own individual private session, Dialogues can also be scheduled for couples, family members, co-workers, or others participating in a continuing relationship.
Benefits of the Process
People trained in the tools and technologies of The Option Process experience the following benefits:
Make Clear, Insightful Decisions
Do you wonder if you are making choices that will lead to the life you desire? Are you hung up in indecision, or stuck in the ramifications of past poor choices? Learn to approach decisions in a new way. Make choices that support you in pursuing and living the fantastic life you’ve always wanted, full of meaning and importance.
Maximize Your Personal Performance
Have you been limiting your effectiveness, always playing small because you think that’s all you can do? Uncover and explore the beliefs that have dampened your ability to live big – from financial abundance, to career achievement, to deep and lasting relationships – and gain access to a whole new stratum of life fulfillment.
Relate with Others with Greater Ease & Depth
Are you uncomfortable as you interact with others in certain environments? Do you hold back being your true self with some people? Be comfortable and authentic, no matter whom you are with. Live with ease and clarity as you work and play with your family, coworkers and the community of the world.
Strengthen Your Confidence
Do you have areas of your life where you doubt yourself? Have you been holding back from going for what you really want, for fear of failing? Construct a foundation of unshakable self-confidence and act fearlessly in the face of discouragement, doubt and criticism.
Unleash Your Extraordinary Life
Have you been living an ordinary, mediocre life? Are you operating with lackluster passion, full of regrets and a sense that you can’t have what you want? Blow that mediocrity out of the water! Break open the YOU and the life that has been patiently waiting for you – the life of unbounded passion and no regrets, where you are fully expressing who you are, and experiencing the exhilaration of going for – and getting –what you truly want out of life.
